Responding is the constructive approach in any situation.
Responding is taking the situation in, and deciding the best course of action based on values such as reason, compassion, cooperation, etc.
Just think of the last time you were in deep thought about your plans for the evening while driving home from work. As you pull into your driveway you wonder to yourself, "How did I get home?" The car seemed to practically drive itself. Driving is a relatively complex task, requiring many choices along the way—turn right, turn left, slow down, stop, change lanes. Still, driving home can be successfully performed almost subconsciously. So, consider the multitude of much smaller choices we make each day that we don't really think about: waking up, brushing our teeth, saying "good morning" to a colleague, eating our lunch, performing a repetitive job duty, and so on. Subconscious actions are useful most of the time, but we must also consciously choose our attitude to control our results. Our ability to choose is a gift, but it is also a huge responsibility. No matter what today's "it's not my fault" culture encourages, we are all ultimately responsible for our own choices.
Here's a scenario repeated daily.
Family dinners are important at the Smith house. Jim and Jane Smith and their two children (John, age three, and Janie, age four) just sat down at the table. Before the first bite of dinner is enjoyed, John spills his milk and it goes everywhere.
A reaction to this event: "Not again, John! Every time we eat, this happens. Think, son, think! Do you want to eat in your room from now on?"
A response to this event: "Uh-oh, John. Let's get a sponge and clean this up so you can eat your dinner."
React: Your child spills something. You immediately react by getting angry, perhaps yelling, upsetting the child and yourself, worsening your relationship, not making anything better.
Respond: Your child spills something. You notice your anger reaction, but pause, take a breath, and consider the situation.
First response is to see if your child is OK — is she disturbed, scared?
Second, realize that the thing which is spilled, in the larger view, is not that important. Let it go, adjust to a dinner without it.
Third, help her clean up, make a game of it, show her that mistakes happen and that it’s not something to dwell on.
Fourth, calmly talk about how to avoid mistakes like that in the future, and give her a hug.
When you react, you make a purely emotional and subconscious decision. Often, because of how your experiences and prior choices have programmed your subconscious mind, your reactions do not help you achieve the best results.
On the other hand, when you respond to a situation, you make a constructive and conscious decision.
When you simply react, your emotional instinct is in control, with little thought of the long-range consequences.
When you respond, your brain is fully engaged and your self-awareness is high. You have the long-term consequences in mind.
We all experience plenty of negative situations and people. Choosing to respond instead of react helps positively orchestrate our attitudes—and our lives.
Source: Simple truths promotional mails and other internet sources