Skip to main content

How can we win ourselves?

When you look at the title, you might have thought that, winning is about, winning a position, money, respect, winning friends, winning people, some tangible outcome, but what is it all about ‘winning ourselves’.

Let's try to understand it one by one.

What do we understand by interference? Is this something which unnecessarily involves or meddles in our success? This could be the general thought of interference.

How do we understand the meaning of interference with regards to our growth and success? The interferences can be hurdles, which we come across. Basically, there are two kinds of interferences- Internal and External.

Below are examples of internal and external interferences (Self-discovery- CLF):

Internal interferences:

External interferences:

Ignorance

Poor education

Negligence

Poverty

Anxiety

No guidance

Stress

Lack of family understanding and support

Lack of faith

Political instability

Grudges and jealousy

Lack of finance

 Internal interference is what is in our control and we can overcome if we really try on it. The external interference are things or situations which are not in our control. The internal interferences are mainly factors like our ego which can affect our performance and relationship. Other few aspects such as fear, anxiety, temper, stress, being jealous, not having faith in oneself etc.

The interferences make us much more awaken in the topics to understand the world and ourselves in a new way.

How does 'ego' which is a very impactful interference, affect us.

With ego, we lose touch with reality, and we miss opportunities — to improve, to connect with others, and to achieve our goals.

 “If the ego is the voice that tells us we're better than we really are, we can say ego inhibits true success by preventing a direct and honest connection to the world around us”.

To get over on the external interferences we should understand our internal interferences well. And we can work on internal interferences completely, as this is in our hands.

For example:

Lack of poverty, No Guidance or No Financial support, for this external interferences we can fight and win by ourselves by building our internal interference like Laziness, narrow-minded, Negative mind etc.

So instead of stopping ourselves with a belief and thought of ‘no financial support’, we can think broadly and work hard and create opportunities and make money and capability and erase this interference of poverty in mind. We here learn how our internal interferences stop us from growing if we don’t overcome it. And for that, firstly realization of our internal weakness and threat is a must.

Ego plays a dual role in our life it has both positive and negative impacts. This is a very important aspect to understand and ponder, the term ‘ego’.

Example: Positive side- When ego says you are right, it makes us believe ourselves and move forward to our success when on doubtful step.

Negative side- When ego says ‘only I am right’, we may take the wrong step/decisions, and not consider the overall picture.

Image source: 

We are always interdependent and connected with others:

Many a time we try to satisfy others from our outcomes. When the outcome of our work will be dependent on another person’s opinion, that is when we have stopped focusing on our aim but we are more into impressing others. It is important to listen and understand others’ opinion and feelings, but at the same time we need to be focused on what we actually want to achieve

Other aspects that help us in life to succeed can be being positive about situations. We need to understand that everything can't be perfect. We should give space for mistakes of ourselves and others. We should learn to accept the flaws within us and others. We should learn to be adaptive to situations which appear suddenly without prior notice

Everything around us won't be as we expect it to be. We should change the attitude of blaming others for things that go against our expectations. Confidence in oneself is good but it shouldn't turn into overconfidence. When we become overconfident, we lose the ability to handle negative situations. We always expect things to be perfect. We won’t be able to handle failure. That is the extreme part of the ego, where we think our self to be right in every situation

We make an opinion about ourselves to be perfect and don't wish anyone to find mistakes in us. We become arrogant with people who have a different opinion. Our focus will only be on showcasing ourselves to be perfect. When we become self-centred, slowly we lose out with the communication with surrounding people, we become less connected.

What happens when we get disconnected? Example: We fail to share our ideas in many instances and that might lead to external interference like lack of funding for our ideas or something else.

Thus it's very important to be connected to people around us. Not just to share our problems and ideas but also to understand their feelings. In other words to activate our EI (Emotional intelligence).

These aspects bring us closer to a few important facets of our character, Personal, Social and Religious values we inherit.

I will conclude by summarizing how can we deal with internal interferences. The internal interferences are there in every one of us, nobody is perfect. The action we can take is, first of all, understanding our interferences and looking at ways to practically break them into units and see how each unit is impacting in our day to day affairs (SWOT). And the next step is accepting, wherever we need to improve upon. And further looking for ways to polishing ourselves so that we come out of interferences one by one gradually. And as we discussed above, once the internal interferences are in our control, it will, directly and indirectly, influence our external interferences in the effect that our external interferences can be controlled.

Further reading: Why “Ego is the Enemy,” and what we can do about it.

The above writing is organised from a group discussion transcript of ‘Self Discovery’ course (Day 4) of Credence Learning Foundation. For more information mail us at- reach.clf@gmail.com

I thank our Batch 2 members for this wonderful group discussion.

If you would like to support our work 

Please contact +91-9742708717 Or +91-9916 7777 53 

Click to explore the Credence resources:

Popular posts from this blog

Shine in your SSLC* Karnataka State Board Exams:

 - *Study material Flipkart order link:* *Maths-* https://rb.gy/j334op -----^----- *Science-* https://rb.gy/dau4ic -----^----- *Social-* https://rb.gy/cmazkk -----^----- *English First Language-* https://shorturl.at/nvY13 -----^----- *Kannada- Second Language-* https://shorturl.at/dmX23 -----^----- *Hindi Third Language-* https://shorturl.at/msuwM -----^----- *Urdu Third Language-* https://shorturl.at/wC267 -----^----- Click to *watch video* about books- https://youtu.be/8ZmzjmMORO4 *Shine in your SSLC* Karnataka State Board Exams with the Best Study Material! The material that best suit your learning style and needs. * Now available online on flipkart. * SSLC exam is an important step in a student's life. It determines your future and open up new opportunities for you. That's why it's important to *be well-prepared* for these exams. *Limited time offer:* Order Now, start preparing for success! *Contact:* 73495 95307 * Study material Flipkart order link :* *Maths-* https://...

Coping with Emotion.

Emotions:       Have you ever observed some of the situations occur in our lives?      Say, you are walking on a road; suddenly a biker comes and lightly hits you, so that your dress gets dusty. How do you react? Shout at him or physically hit him or you keep passive and just walk on the road. Suppose if you beat the biker, you did not have the intention or even think of beating the person, but why did you beat? It is all sudden, because there is always an internal action and reaction process which takes place between our hearts, mind and physical body, which we do not see. Thus in the same kind, emotions also do work within our body and mind. Emotions take many faces as per the situation like, Anger predisposes us to defense or fighting and Fear predisposes us to flight (run away) or fight.      What is Emotion?      Emotions are a complex state of feeling that results in physical and psyc...

How does patience affect our relationships with people around us?

- There are many ways that patience affects our relationships with other people. Having patience with people can improve our lives and make them happier. When we have enough patience to deal with people calmly, we can easily handle the conflicts and lose our stress.  There are many benefits to patience. How we behave patiently with others is important. Patience is not easy. It is a mental exercise, one which takes tolerance and will power. It is necessary for every one of us. We must become patient with people.  Compassionate and supportive people are more likely to have patience with everyone and everyone is likely to become more compassionate and supportive towards them.  Source: written with writer sonic AI.

Sadly, men who haven’t grown up emotionally often struggle:

 - We all have patterns, habits, ways of doing things that feel comfortable and familiar. But men who haven’t grown up emotionally often get stuck in these past patterns. - If you notice a man who seems oblivious to his own behavior and its impact on others, it could be a sign of emotional immaturity. - If you notice a man repeatedly falling into the same patterns, especially ones that cause problems or pain, it could be a sign of emotional immaturity. - This lack of empathy can make relationships challenging. It can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and a lack of emotional connection. Click to read: https://hackspirit.com/men-who-havent-grown-up-emotionally-usually-display-these-9-subtle-behaviors/

*What is spiritual maturity?*

1. Spiritual Maturity is *when you stop trying to change others, ...instead focus on changing yourself.* 2. Spiritual Maturity is when you *accept people as they are.* 3. Spiritual Maturity is when you *understand everyone is right in their own perspective.* 4. Spiritual Maturity is when you *learn to "let go".* 5. Spiritual Maturity is when you are able to *drop "expectations" from a relationship and give for the sake of giving.* 6. Spiritual Maturity is when you *understand whatever you do, you do for your own peace.* 7. Spiritual Maturity is when you *stop proving to the world, how intelligent you are.* 8. Spiritual Maturity is when you *don't seek approval from others.* 9. Spiritual Maturity is when you *stop comparing with others.* 10. Spiritual Maturity is when you *are at peace with yourself.* 11. Spiritual Maturity is when you *are able to differentiate between "need" and "want" and are able to let go of your...

Ready for life:

The education is not only about getting ready for job. It is about getting ready for life. Below are some advertisement clips from a FMCG brand which focuses on socio-emotional skills among children. Click the below links to view the videos. Team spirit : Click to view https://youtu.be/1Tsc_AT_24M New friend in a class : Click to view https://youtu.be/FbXHbvnNZ7s A Helping kid : Click to view https://youtu.be/Wj22YTcJC4U

Is anybody happier because you passed his way?

 - Is anybody happier  because you passed his way? Does anyone remember  that you spoke to him today? This day is almost over,  and its toiling time is through;  Is there anyone to utter now a kindly word of you? Did you give a cheerful greeting to the friend who came along? Or a churlish sort of "Howdy"  and then vanish in the throng? Were you selfish pure and simple as you rushed along the way,  Or is someone mighty grateful for a deed you did today? Can you say tonight, in parting with the day that's slipping fast, That you helped a single brother of the many that you passed? Is a single heart rejoicing over what you did or said;  Does a man whose hopes were fading now with courage look ahead? Did you waste the day, or lose it, was it well or sorely spent? Did you leave a trail of kindness or a scar of discontent? Source:  taken from Edgar Albert Guest poem. Reflection of above poem: "Is anybody happier because you passed his way?" is a po...

The Secret to a Happy Marriage: Stop Trying to Win and Start Nurturing:

 - Nurturing the Marital Garden: When the Relationship Wins In the grand tapestry of life, marriage stands as one of the most profound and challenging relationships we undertake. It's a journey filled with shared dreams, laughter, and sometimes, inevitable disagreements. Yet, the true triumph in marriage isn't about one person "winning" an argument or proving a point; it's about the relationship winning. It's about cultivating a shared space where both individuals can thrive, a garden that requires constant, loving care. Often, in the heat of the moment, our instincts can lead us to defend ourselves, to score points, or to push for our own way. However, this competitive mindset can chip away at the very foundation of the union. When we prioritize winning as an individual, we inadvertently lose something far more valuable: the strength and intimacy of our bond. The key to a flourishing marriage lies in shifting our focus from "me" to "us," e...

Achievers operate differently. They have an eye for the essential:

 - *"NOT EVERYTHING MATTERS EQUALLY"* "It's not enough to be busy, so are the ants."  ~ Henry David Thoreau.  The question is, what are we busy about? Knocking out a hundred tasks for whatever the reason is a poor substitute for doing even one task that is meaningful.  Not everything matters equally, and success is not a game won by whoever does the most. Yet that is exactly how most play it on a daily basis.  "The things which are most important does not always scream the loudest" ~ Bob Hawke Achievers operate differently. They have an eye for the essential. They pause just long enough to decide what matters and then allow what matters to drive their day.  Achievers do Sooner what others plan to do later and defer, perhaps indefinitely, what others do Sooner. The different is not in intent, but in a right of way. Achievers always work from a sense of priority. Source: received through whatsapp

Brave and intelligent do not argue:

The donkey said to the tiger, 'The grass is blue.' Tiger said, 'No grass is green.' Then the discussion between the two became intense. Both of them are firm in their own words. To end this controversy, both went to Lion – King of Jungle. In the middle of the animal kingdom, sitting on the throne was a lion. The donkey started yelling before the tiger could say anything. “Your Highness, the grass is blue, isn’t it?” Lion said, 'Yes! The grass is blue. ' Donkey, 'This tiger does not believe. Annoys me He should be punished properly. ' The king declared, 'Tiger will be jailed for a year. King's verdict was heard by donkey and he was jumping in joy in entire jungle. The tiger was sentenced to one-year jail. ' The Tiger went to the Lion and asked, 'Why Your Highness! Grass is green, isn’t it? ' Lion said, 'Yes! Grass is green.’ Tiger said, '... then why am I sentenced to jail? ' Lion said, “you did not get punished for th...