- "Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder." — Rumi Imagine a small spark hitting a dry grass field. The spark itself is tiny. It can easily be put out with a single drop of water. But if someone blows air on it or throws oil on it, that small spark turns into a massive fire. In life, everyday arguments work the exact same way. Most long-standing fights between friends, family members, or coworkers do not drag on because of the original problem (the spark). They drag on because of how people view the problem, how they talk about it, and how they react (the wind and the oil). The Spark vs. The Fire To understand why simple misunderstandings turn into long battles, we need to separate the Trigger from the Handling. * The Trigger (The Spark) : A forgotten task, a delayed reply, a slight disagreement, or a small mistake. * The Handling (The Fire) : Thinking the other person did it on purpose, raising your voice, bringing up old mistakes...