How to recognise hidden feedback:

“We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.”
– Bill Gates

We most often hear phrases our friends and contacts tell us.

a. ‘Because of you, we are always late to the sports complex’.

b. ‘You always miss the deadline to submit the assignment’.

c. ‘I do not like the colour combination of your dresses’.

When they say you are late for the sports complex, then it means you lack self/time management. When they say you miss the deadline, then you need to improve your organisational skills and working style. And when they say they don’t like your colour combination of dresses, probably you might have to look at your dressing sense.

There is a proverb which says, the enemy is always sweeter and the friend is bitter. A friend always judges our action and immediately gives feedback to it, both consciously and subconsciously. When I mean friend, it could be any person close to us, a father, a brother, an uncle, or a classmate. It takes loads of courage to give a feedback.

The problem with the feedback is, the feedback giver is also not aware that he is giving feedback and the receiver is also not aware that he is receiving a feedback. And the other problem is that the tone in which we usually receive feedback is not a pleasant tone and words are not kind enough. This might be the weakness of feedback giver in communicating, but a good takeaway for us is to ponder, think what is there in store for me in this feedback. And one more pain point is, the well-wishers do not say that they are giving feedback, the feedback does not come as feedback, we need to recognise it in our everyday communication.

The usual and natural reactions to feedbacks are to defend ourselves. It’s a human tendency. Defending oneself when receiving feedback is an act of self-preservation. And once we react defensively to feedback, it becomes scary and it could also be offensive to others. As normal as a defensive reaction is to feedback, it makes others so uncomfortable that they’ll be hesitant to give you feedback again. And luckily our friends do not mind giving feed backs again and again how much ever defensive we are.

Once you recognise that you are receiving a feedback, say them ‘thank you’. And tell them that, (example point b) when they say you are always late in meeting the deadlines, this is something you really have to work on. Or if you cannot thank them for this, just smile and do not defend yourself. Find a quiet place and time, and think where you need to improve upon. Consider these masked feed backs are making you good, better and best.

By:

Maaz Mohammed A.Q

(Writer is a learning strategist at Life Skills Express, a startup working on developing life skills curriculum for adolescence)

Tokyo Olympics, two sportsmen makes us realise true meaning of joy:

The scene is the final of men's high jump at the Tokyo Olympics. Italy's Gianmarco Tamberi was facing Qatar's Mutaz Essa Barshim in the final. Both of them jumped 2.37 meters and were on par ! Olympic officials gave three more attempts to each of them, but they were unable to reach more than 2.37 meters. One more attempt was given to two both of them, but Tampberi withdrew from the last attempt due to a serious leg injury. The moment when there was no other opponent in front of Barshim, the moment when he could have easily approached the gold alone ! But Barshim asked the official "if the gold can be shared between the two of us if I withdraw from the final attempt ?" The official checks and confirms and says "yes then the gold will be shared between the two of you". Barshim then had nothing to think about, announces withdrawal from the last attempt. Seeing this, the Italian opponent Tamberi ran and hugged Barshim and screamed ! What we sa...

Learn to Respond, Not React:

“You have the ability to choose your reactions.” ― Steve Maraboli Click to read the article from source: If unable to open, copy the below link to browser: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/learn-respond-react-dr-marshall-goldsmith

Life becomes sweeter when we understand the power of adding some Empathy, care, kindness and forgiveness”:

*Raita* _*Adding Extra Curd*_ On a Sunday afternoon a family gathered over the Lunch table to have their favourite Mutton Biriyani, Wife was serving the food to both her Son and her Husband. After the food was served, husband tasted the Biriyani along with Raita and starting yelling at his wife for adding More salt in Raita. She opened the refrigerator and added some curd to it, and she served it again, after tasting it the husband said “You should have done it properly and checked it before serving it to us, because of the extra salt, you have spoilt my mood of eating Biriyani” After some time, the son and the father completed their lunch and wife served herself and completed her lunch, while she was washing the vessels, son came to meet her and he saw his mother with tears in her eyes, when he inquired why she was crying, she just wiped her tears and said “ nothing” and asked him what he wants, he asked for some money, and she told him to take it from her purse. After some y...

Sometimes obtaining knowledge isn't enough to see your dreams come true, you need the right mindset to keep yourself from getting lost along the way:

- The most important aspect of living a happy and satisfying life is developing the personal life skills to be happy. Being happy is the result of combining the inner person with their day-to-day activities. Personal development is a lifelong process which requires will, dedication and daily discipline. The right attitude can help you stay calm and happy even in the most difficult of times. This life skills blog includes tips on simple ways to make life better. We wanted to share life enriching information with our friends and family during 2013, at the same time one of our co-founder was deciding to quit MNC job and work on life skills full-time. In thirst of fullfiling this ambition we were looking at various online platforms. Finally we came to know about blogger.com from Google. We humbly started our life skills blog simply called as 'life skills'. What is 'life skills'? According to World Health Organization (WHO), Life skills are defined as “a group of psychos...

Is anybody happier because you passed his way?

- Is anybody happier because you passed his way? Does anyone remember that you spoke to him today? This day is almost over, and its toiling time is through; Is there anyone to utter now a kindly word of you? Did you give a cheerful greeting to the friend who came along? Or a churlish sort of "Howdy" and then vanish in the throng? Were you selfish pure and simple as you rushed along the way, Or is someone mighty grateful for a deed you did today? Can you say tonight, in parting with the day that's slipping fast, That you helped a single brother of the many that you passed? Is a single heart rejoicing over what you did or said; Does a man whose hopes were fading now with courage look ahead? Did you waste the day, or lose it, was it well or sorely spent? Did you leave a trail of kindness or a scar of discontent? Source: taken from Edgar Albert Guest poem. Reflection of above poem: "Is anybody happier because you passed his way?" is a po...

The concept of unique adaptability in elephants:

- Baby elephants can walk very shortly after birth. They are typically able to stand within 20 minutes and walk within an hour of being born. This is a survival mechanism, as it allows them to keep up with the herd, which is crucial for finding food and water and staying safe from predators. Here's a more detailed look: Standing: A newborn elephant calf can usually stand on its own within 20 minutes after birth. Walking: Within an hour, the calf will be able to walk, though it may be wobbly at first. Keeping Pace: After just a couple of days, the calf will be strong enough to keep up with the herd as they move and migrate. Survival Advantage: This ability to quickly walk is a crucial adaptation for survival in the wild. Tending to the Calf: The mother and other females in the herd will help the calf stand and nurse, guiding it and providing support until it can walk independently. Source: Gemini AI search

Success does not happen by accident. It is forged in the furnace of undistracted dedication:

- *It Is Only Laser Focus on One Project to the Exclusion of All Else That Permits the Breakthrough and Ensures Success* - Success does not happen by accident. It is forged in the furnace of undistracted dedication. In a world that constantly demands our attention from every direction, only those who can silence the noise and channel their energy into one single, focused effort will ever reach the threshold of greatness. The human mind, though vast in potential, is inherently limited in its ability to divide attention meaningfully across multiple domains. We deceive ourselves when we say we can multitask, when in reality we only switch between tasks, each switch draining us of energy, clarity, and momentum. It is only laser focus—unwavering, undiluted, and uninterrupted—on a single project, to the exclusion of all else, that paves the path to profound breakthroughs. The Myth of Multitasking Many glorify the multitasker—the one who juggles five projects, ten meetings, and a hundred...

Open the taps of giving. And you'll open the floodgates to happiness.

- I had heard of *Dead Sea* in school. No one ever told me this side of the story. You may find it interesting. *A tale of Two Seas!!* As you probably recall, the Dead Sea is really a Lake, not a sea. It’s so high in salt content that the human body can float easily. You can almost lie down and read a book! The salt in the Dead Sea is as high as *35%* - almost *10 times* the normal ocean water. And all that saltiness has meant that there is no life at all in the Dead Sea. No fish. No vegetation. No sea animals. Nothing lives in the Dead Sea. And hence the name: Dead Sea. The other Sea is the *Sea of Galilee.* Turns out that the Sea of Galilee is just north of the Dead Sea. Both the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea receive their water from river Jordan. And yet, they are very, very different. Unlike the Dead Sea, the *Sea of Galilee* is pretty, resplendent with rich, colorful marine life. There are lots of plants. And lots of fish too. In fact, the Sea of Galilee is hom...

Doing what's right builds confidence:

- Doing what's right keeps your conscience satisfied. And this builds self-confidence. When we do what is known to be wrong, two negative things happen. First, we feel guilt and this guilt eats away confidence. Second, other people sooner or later find out and lose confidence in us.

The spark of understanding:

- "Misunderstood" Words unsaid and Words unspoken Lead to paths, Where hearts are broken. A glance misread, A tone misheard, And love is lost, in a sea of word. In the silence, we search for clues, To unravel the tangled threads of our views. But like ships passing, in the dark of night, We miss the signals, that could ignite. The spark of understanding, that we need, To bridge the gap, and plant a seed, Of empathy and kindness, that can grow, And help us see, through the eyes of another's soul. But still we try, to find our way, Through the maze of misunderstandings each day. And hope that someday, we'll find the key, To unlock the hearts, and set love free. Source: WhatsApp message

Life Skills

Search This Blog