Behavior is just the tip of the iceberg. It's important to consider what's beneath the surface:

By,
Ray Mathis

It’s the 90% of an iceberg that’s below the surface that you need to be concerned about.

Behavior is just the tip of the iceberg. Too often, teachers and schools ignore what’s below the surface. It’s why attempts at behavior modification often don’t work, and things often just get worse.

Here’s how life unfolds: EVENT + THOUGHTS = FEELING > BEHAVIOR

Anything that happens is just an EVENT in our lives. Our brains are always generating THOUGHTS, trying to make sense of what happens, and watch for potential threats. It’s what we choose to think about EVENTS that really causes how we FEEL, and attitude is always the father of behavior. THOUGHTS simultaneously can give rise to emotion like anger, and MISTAKEN goals. Two common mistaken goals when angry are POWER and CONTROL, and REVENGE.

Many kids come to us with a history of troubling life EVENTS with adults in their lives. These EVENTS were quite threatening to them. The thoughts they generated in response were quite understandable, quite human.

Over time, their THOUGHTS, and the FEELINGS and BEHAVIOR they give rise to become “rutted” in their brains. This makes such THOUGHTS, FEELINGS and BEHAVIOR quite automatic. They are quick to REACT or even OVERREACT to anything we do that’s similar in any way to what’s happened to them in the past. An overreaction is often an age regression. It can make them behave quite stupidly, to act against their own self-interest.

Teachers bring their own cognitive, emotional and behavioral ruts to interactions with students. It often involves being quite authoritarian. That predisposes them to get angry, overreact, and behave in ways that remind troublesome students too much of adult from their pasts.

It’s important to keep in mind that behavior is just the tip of the iceberg. The more we can learn about what’s beneath the surface with troublesome kids, the better we can plan how to best intervene. Their FEELINGS and BEHAVIOR won’t change until the attitudes do.

-------- End of the article--------

In addition, to better understand please click the below link to watch another video discussing similar topic.

Click to watch video:
(The speaker in the video is not an author, he is another person)

(Author of this article Ray Mathis, is Education Consultant, Speaker, Educator, Author, Advocate for Mental and Emotional Tool Kit, Tool Time group leader).

Source: This post was shared by the author in a LinkedIn social media group.

Right attitude is a great power (story):

😒A Businessman was deep in debt and could not see any way out. 😒Creditors and Suppliers were demanding payments. He sat in the park, deep in thought, wondering if anything could save his company from bankruptcy. 👍Suddenly an old man appeared before him and asked, "I can see that something is troubling you seriously". 👍After listening patiently the old man said, "I believe I can help you". 👍👍👍He asked the man his name, wrote out a cheque and put it into his hands saying, 👍"Take this money, meet me here exactly one year from today... and you can pay me back at that time". 👍Then he turned and disappeared as quickly as he had come. 👌👌👌The businessman saw in his hands a cheque for $ 500,000... signed by Warren Buffet, one of the richest men in the world. 👍"I can erase my worries instantly...

Beyond Fear: How a Single Attitude Change Unlocks Growth:

🌟 Open the Door to Opportunity: The Power of a Positive Mindset We often encounter situations that highlight the stark difference between a closed, fearful mindset and an open, positive attitude. The choices we make daily—even small ones—are often dictated by whether we focus on the potential loss or the potential gain. A perfect illustration of this took place in a restaurant. I noticed the owner kept the large front door closed, essentially hiding a valuable marketing display and limiting the shop's visibility. When I asked him why, his reason was simple and fear-driven: "What if people will eat and go without paying?" His focus was entirely on preventing a minor potential fraud cost . The Opportunity Cost of Fear I challenged him to compare that small potential loss (the fraud cost) with the much larger benefit he was sacrificing: the marketing opportunity cost . By keeping the door closed, he was missing out on: ...

Why people at big companies are happy:

- Lets refresh our memories - employees are emotional creatures. Events from personal life affect professional life and vice versa. - Healthy work-life balance means different things to different people. Top companies realize there is no one-size-fits-all approach – they don’t tell employees HOW to achieve work-life balance. - As long as employees feel they are a part of something that is bigger than themselves, they remain engaged. Merge this with the freedom to design professional career path and the well-planned learning opportunities to succeed on those paths. Click to read full article from LinkedIn:

Focus- The secret to High performance and Fulfillment:

- Click to hear lecture: Summary: Source: The video is directly linked to youtube and the summary is adopted from the comments section of this video.

Learn B-school/Business lessons from street vendors:

- Captain Raghu Raman teaches an interesting business lessons from Street vendors. And in the last section he speaks about the after retirement life of young armed forces. Click to watch: About Captain Raghu Raman: Note: The above video is linked directly from youtube. About 'Raghu Raman' detail is received from youtube description.

What can a radical leader do?

Radical leader, can: Prepare oneself Exemplify Moral Integrity Go Beyond Self-Interest Establish Clear Goals Respect Your People Convey an Inspiring Vision Be A Mentor... and in doing so inspire revolutionary teamwork.

Click to read the collection of 200+ articles and videos on life skills:

💭 Level Up Your Life: Unveiling Your Life Skills Toolkit We'll be diving deep into a variety of areas, all designed to equip you for whatever life throws your way. Here's a sneak peek at some of the exciting topics we'll be exploring: So, get to learn and get ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery, self-improvement and empowerment. Together, let's build that life skills toolkit and conquer whatever life throws our way! Click your area of interest below to read many many articles under each topic: 1. Life Skills- - - 2. Corporate Stories 3. Work Life Balance 4. Understanding Teenagers 5. Understanding Life 6. Happy Feeling 7. Leadership Skills 8. Initiatives 9. Health and wellness 10. Motivating Potentials 11. My friends are gold 12. Relationship Management 13. Understanding Self 14. Fun and Fun 15 . Hit hard 16. Activities Or Also you can select based on year of publication: Click for articles of 2020 ---...

Do you want to be positive and energetic? The positive emotions—such as happiness, comfort, contentedness, and pleasure—help us make good decisions:

- Have you ever had a bad fight or argument. A financial setback. Got bad or unpleasant news. Lost someone or something important and special to you. As humans all experience this as a natural course of action. Positive emotions—such as happiness, comfort, contentedness, and pleasure—help us make good decisions: And the good news is Positive emotions can practised into a habit. Picture source: The positive mind Emotion is a complex experience of consciousness, bodily sensation, and behaviour that reflects the personal significance of a thing, an event, or a state of affairs. People who do a good job of managing emotions know that it's healthy to express. Because of this, they're able to react to situations in productive ways and they are able to win situations in day to day life. And also people who are good at managing emotions tend to have lasting and productive relationships. During the 1970s, psychologist Paul Eckman identified six basic...

If you stop working, learning, moving… it’s like telling your body and mind they’re obsolete:

- *Howard Tucker*—neurologist, lawyer, and still active at 102—once said: “Retirement is the real enemy of longevity. If you stop working, learning, moving… it’s like telling your body and mind they’re obsolete. I walk five kilometers a day, snowshoe in winter, keep learning, and got my law degree at 67. My advice: don’t retire from life. Retire from inaction.” At his age, many people are just waiting for life to pass by. But he keeps studying, walking, working. Not out of duty, but out of conviction. Because nothing is more dangerous than standing still. Even the heart rusts if you don’t use it. Tucker is not an exception—he’s a reminder: That there’s still time. That purpose knows no age. That every day we choose to move, think, and create… we’re contributing. In April 2023, he contributed a piece to CNBC on five important pieces of life advice: staying active and not spending his days retired, staying in shape, not smoking, not restricting himself to a n...

Explore tools to improve your job performance:

*Why "No" is a Leader's Most Powerful Tool:* *6 Strategies top performers use to master "No."* *Saying yes to everything blurs focus.* *Use these methods to prioritize what truly matters:* 1. *Not sure which tasks matter most?* ➟ Use the Pareto Principle ➟ Focus on the 20% that drive 80% of results. 2. *Overwhelmed by urgent tasks?* ➟ Try the Eisenhower Matrix ➟ Prioritize by urgency and importance. 3. *Unclear about your goals?* ➟ Implement OKRs ➟ Keep objectives clear and mission-aligned. 4. *Struggling to prioritize tasks?* ➟ Apply the MoSCoW Method ➟ Classify tasks to focus on what counts. 5. *Need data-driven decisions?* ➟ Use the RICE Scoring Model ➟ Rank projects by impact and effort. 6. *Want to delight your customers?* ➟ Explore the Kano Model ➟ Find features that boost satisfaction. *Remember:* ...

Life Skills

Search This Blog