Skip to main content

The Secret to a Happy Marriage: Stop Trying to Win and Start Nurturing:

 -

Nurturing the Marital Garden: When the Relationship Wins

In the grand tapestry of life, marriage stands as one of the most profound and challenging relationships we undertake. It's a journey filled with shared dreams, laughter, and sometimes, inevitable disagreements. Yet, the true triumph in marriage isn't about one person "winning" an argument or proving a point; it's about the relationship winning. It's about cultivating a shared space where both individuals can thrive, a garden that requires constant, loving care.

Often, in the heat of the moment, our instincts can lead us to defend ourselves, to score points, or to push for our own way. However, this competitive mindset can chip away at the very foundation of the union. When we prioritize winning as an individual, we inadvertently lose something far more valuable: the strength and intimacy of our bond. The key to a flourishing marriage lies in shifting our focus from "me" to "us," ensuring the relationship itself emerges victorious.

So, how do we nurture this marital garden and ensure the relationship consistently wins? It comes down to a few fundamental practices:

1. Dedicate Sufficient Time and Presence:

In our fast-paced world, time is a precious commodity. It's easy for careers, children, and personal pursuits to consume our hours. However, a thriving marriage demands dedicated time. This isn't just about coexisting in the same house; it's about being present with each other. Make time for conversations that go beyond logistics, where you truly connect and share your day, your thoughts, and your dreams. When you invest time, you invest in your bond.

2. Share Responsibilities and Support Each Other in Home Tasks:

Marriage is a partnership, and partnership means sharing the load. Whether it's chores, errands, or managing family life, actively supporting each other in daily tasks fosters a sense of teamwork and mutual respect. It alleviates stress for both partners and demonstrates that you are truly in this together. This isn't about strict division of labor, but about a willingness to step in, help out, and ensure neither person feels overwhelmed or solely responsible.

3. Understand Their Feelings, Thoughts, Likes, and Dislikes:

Empathy is the cornerstone of a strong relationship. Take the time to truly listen to your spouse, not just to respond, but to understand. Ask open-ended questions, pay attention to their non-verbal cues, and make an effort to see things from their perspective. Knowing their preferences, respecting their opinions, and acknowledging their emotions validates their experience and strengthens your emotional connection. This deep understanding builds a bridge that can weather any storm.

4. Be a Pillar of Support:

Life throws challenges at us, and having a supportive partner by your side makes all the difference. Be your spouse's biggest cheerleader, their confidant, and their safe haven. Celebrate their successes, offer comfort in their failures, and provide unwavering encouragement as they pursue their goals. Knowing they have your steadfast support instills confidence and reinforces the feeling that you are a united front against the world.

5. Forgive and Ask for Forgiveness:

No one is perfect, and mistakes are an inevitable part of any human relationship, especially marriage. The ability to genuinely forgive your partner, and equally important, to humbly ask for forgiveness when you've erred, is crucial for healing and moving forward. Holding onto grudges or refusing to acknowledge your own faults creates emotional distance and resentment. Forgiveness isn't about condoning harmful behavior; it's about choosing to release anger and rebuild trust, allowing the relationship to mend and grow stronger.

6. Have Patience Wherever It's Required:

Patience is a virtue that is constantly tested in marriage. There will be times of frustration, slow progress, or recurring issues. Whether it's dealing with different communication styles, navigating difficult life stages, or simply waiting for your partner to come around to your perspective, patience is paramount. It allows for grace, prevents impulsive reactions, and provides the space for understanding and resolution to emerge. Remember that growth often takes time, and a patient heart fosters an environment where both individuals can evolve together.

In essence, a successful marriage isn't a competition between two individuals; it's a collaborative effort where the goal is the health and vitality of the shared bond. When we dedicate time, share responsibilities, cultivate understanding, offer unwavering support, practice forgiveness, and embrace patience, we are actively choosing to let the relationship win. And when the relationship wins, both partners ultimately reap the richest rewards of love, companionship, and a truly fulfilling life together.

Source: prompt generated through Gemini AI.

Popular posts from this blog

Tokyo Olympics, two sportsmen makes us realise true meaning of joy:

 The scene is the final of men's high jump at the Tokyo Olympics.  Italy's Gianmarco Tamberi was facing Qatar's Mutaz Essa Barshim in the final.  Both of them jumped 2.37 meters and were on par !  Olympic officials gave three more attempts to each of them, but they were unable to reach more than 2.37 meters. One more attempt was given to two both of them, but Tampberi withdrew from the last attempt due to a serious leg injury.  The moment when there was no other opponent in front of Barshim, the moment when he could have easily approached the gold alone ! But Barshim asked the official "if the gold can be shared between the two of us if I withdraw from the final attempt ?"  The official checks and confirms and says "yes then the gold will be shared between the two of you".  Barshim then had nothing to think about, announces withdrawal from the last attempt. Seeing this, the Italian opponent Tamberi ran and hugged Barshim and screamed !  What we sa...

Learn to Respond, Not React:

“You have the ability to choose your reactions.”  ―  Steve Maraboli Click to read the article from source: If unable to open, copy the below link to browser: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/learn-respond-react-dr-marshall-goldsmith

Life becomes sweeter when we understand the power of adding some Empathy, care, kindness and forgiveness”:

*Raita* _*Adding Extra Curd*_ On a Sunday afternoon a family gathered over the Lunch table to have their favourite Mutton Biriyani, Wife was serving the food to both her Son and her Husband. After the food was served, husband tasted the Biriyani along with Raita and starting yelling at his wife for adding More salt in Raita. She opened the refrigerator and added some curd to it, and she served it again, after tasting it the husband said “You should have done it properly and checked it before serving it to us, because of the extra salt, you have spoilt my mood of eating Biriyani” After some time, the son and the father completed their lunch and wife served herself and completed her lunch, while she was washing the vessels, son came to meet her and he saw his mother with tears in her eyes, when he inquired why she was crying, she just wiped her tears and said “ nothing” and asked him what he wants, he asked for some money, and she told him to take it from her purse. After some y...

Is anybody happier because you passed his way?

 - Is anybody happier  because you passed his way? Does anyone remember  that you spoke to him today? This day is almost over,  and its toiling time is through;  Is there anyone to utter now a kindly word of you? Did you give a cheerful greeting to the friend who came along? Or a churlish sort of "Howdy"  and then vanish in the throng? Were you selfish pure and simple as you rushed along the way,  Or is someone mighty grateful for a deed you did today? Can you say tonight, in parting with the day that's slipping fast, That you helped a single brother of the many that you passed? Is a single heart rejoicing over what you did or said;  Does a man whose hopes were fading now with courage look ahead? Did you waste the day, or lose it, was it well or sorely spent? Did you leave a trail of kindness or a scar of discontent? Source:  taken from Edgar Albert Guest poem. Reflection of above poem: "Is anybody happier because you passed his way?" is a po...

Success does not happen by accident. It is forged in the furnace of undistracted dedication:

-  *It Is Only Laser Focus on One Project to the Exclusion of All Else That Permits the Breakthrough and Ensures Success* - Success does not happen by accident. It is forged in the furnace of undistracted dedication. In a world that constantly demands our attention from every direction, only those who can silence the noise and channel their energy into one single, focused effort will ever reach the threshold of greatness. The human mind, though vast in potential, is inherently limited in its ability to divide attention meaningfully across multiple domains. We deceive ourselves when we say we can multitask, when in reality we only switch between tasks, each switch draining us of energy, clarity, and momentum. It is only laser focus—unwavering, undiluted, and uninterrupted—on a single project, to the exclusion of all else, that paves the path to profound breakthroughs. The Myth of Multitasking Many glorify the multitasker—the one who juggles five projects, ten meetings, and a hundred...

The concept of unique adaptability in elephants:

 - Baby elephants can walk very shortly after birth. They are typically able to stand within 20 minutes and walk within an hour of being born. This is a survival mechanism, as it allows them to keep up with the herd, which is crucial for finding food and water and staying safe from predators.  Here's a more detailed look: Standing: A newborn elephant calf can usually stand on its own within 20 minutes after birth.  Walking: Within an hour, the calf will be able to walk, though it may be wobbly at first.  Keeping Pace: After just a couple of days, the calf will be strong enough to keep up with the herd as they move and migrate.  Survival Advantage: This ability to quickly walk is a crucial adaptation for survival in the wild.  Tending to the Calf: The mother and other females in the herd will help the calf stand and nurse, guiding it and providing support until it can walk independently.  Source: Gemini AI search

Sometimes obtaining knowledge isn't enough to see your dreams come true, you need the right mindset to keep yourself from getting lost along the way:

- The most important aspect of living a happy and satisfying life is developing the personal life skills to be happy. Being happy is the result of combining the inner person with their day-to-day activities. Personal development is a lifelong process which requires will, dedication and daily discipline. The right attitude can help you stay calm and happy even in the most difficult of times. This life skills blog includes tips on simple ways to make life better. We wanted to share life enriching information with our friends and family during 2013, at the same time one of our co-founder was deciding to quit MNC job and work on life skills full-time. In thirst of fullfiling this ambition we were looking at various online platforms. Finally we came to know about blogger.com  from Google. We humbly started our life skills blog simply called as 'life skills'. What is 'life skills'? According to World Health Organization (WHO), Life skills are defined as “a group of psychos...

*Imp* Teenagers and underlying challenges of current generation:

-  Teens naturally experience stronger urges and have less ability to delay gratification compared to adults. A teenager is someone who is between 13 and 19 years old. There is a continuous socioemotional development happening among teenagers. Puberty brings a surge of hormones that can lead to intense emotions and risky behavior. Teenagers are also grappling with social pressures, identity formation, and desires for independence, which can lead to impulsive choices. Some teenagers experience strong feelings and attraction towards the opposite gender. Unfortunately, this can lead to unhealthy or harmful relationships. Some young people may misinterpret exploitation as love, resulting in painful experiences. These experiences can have long-lasting emotional consequences, including feelings of guilt and depression. Compared to adults teenagers have lesser self control, they might get into unnecessary and undesirable commitment with opposite gender. Thus parents and guardians should m...

The first step to Knowledge: to know that you know nothing:

*"That Which You Know Already" - Real Life Story !* 'Ouspensky' was a marvelous thinker from Russia. He had written many books, one of which had brought special fame. It was said that there was no book in the world to equal his. At the time Ouspensky went to visit 'Gurdjieff', He was a famous man, Gurdjieff was a simple 'Fakir'. Ouspensky said to him: ”I want to put some questions to you.” Gurdjieff handed him a blank piece of paper and said: ”Before we talk, write down all that you know and all that you do not know. Then we shall talk on that which you do not know. That which you know already, needs no elucidation. It will only profit you if we talk on the matters you do not know.” That was a strange way to greet a famous man! However Ouspensky took the paper and went in a corner of the room He meant to make a long list. But when he started to write, he found himself in a strange predicament!  He asked himself: ”Do I know God?”  The answer came from w...

Open the taps of giving. And you'll open the floodgates to happiness.

-  I had heard of *Dead Sea* in school. No one ever told me this side of the story. You may find it interesting. *A tale of Two Seas!!*  As you probably recall, the Dead Sea is really a Lake, not a sea. It’s so high in salt content that the human body can float easily. You can almost lie down and read a book! The salt in the Dead Sea is as high as *35%* - almost *10 times* the normal ocean water. And all that saltiness has meant that there is no life at all in the Dead Sea. No fish. No vegetation. No sea animals. Nothing lives in the Dead Sea. And hence the name: Dead Sea. The other Sea is the *Sea of Galilee.* Turns out that the Sea of Galilee is just north of the Dead Sea. Both the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea receive their water from river Jordan. And yet, they are very, very different.   Unlike the Dead Sea, the *Sea of Galilee* is pretty, resplendent with rich, colorful marine life. There are lots of plants. And lots of fish too. In fact, the Sea of Galilee is hom...